how the Lord’s grown me wholistically in the last 2 years

HOW HAS IT BEEN TWO WHOLE YEARS IN KANSAS CITY!?

I TRULY LOVE THIS PLACE SOO MUCH! I am so thankful that the Lord is kind enough to lead us to places that foster deep growth within Him and with His people. This is what my time in KC has done for me!! I’m just in awe of Him, His goodness, and Who He is! What a loving Father we serve!

One piece of scripture that has encouraged me most in the last two years, is Psalm 23.

Psalms 23:1-6 (ESV) 1 A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

I remember getting to KC and thinking, “what if nothing changes?” I can’t explain it - it’s not as if I am some brand new being - new finger prints and all - but I am different. Everything has changed. All by the power of the Holy Spirit and His guidance and care for the life that I live and will live.

Oh, to be sanctified by the Lord.

This past two years have been a whirlwind… a beautiful whirlwind.

Something that I began to pay a lot of attention to in my later years of school was caring for myself as a whole person. Looking back on the past couple years and how the Lord has changed and developed me wholistically is amazing and all by His grace. 

I have gotten connected to an amazing church. I sometimes rant about how we as a culture don’t do community well. Y’all - when I say that the Lord has shown me a beautiful example of how this can done, with depth among a large congregation and also with deep care for the flock; He’s done this. I am really thankful for a church that models this well and has helped me to grow in my own pursuit of helping others to develop this. 

As I write this, on this very day, I was/am thinking over the ways I began as a leader and the ways I need to correct & grow now. The Lord is teaching me that I will have never arrived in my journey of this life, I am constantly growing. I think that in reminding me of this first, the journey, before showing me the ways in which I needed to grow as a leader, came with absolute care for my little heart. He chastens from a place of love and for that I am grateful. 

Aside from my growth as a leader… I am under really great Pastoral leadership. I sometimes get weepy knowing that this leadership is not found everywhere. Leadership that stands on the truth of His word & doesn’t bend a knee to culture. Sugar coats nothing. Is biased toward scripture. Equips their people from new believer to the graced to see lives changed by the gospel. & has its flocks best interest at heart. 

I tend to be quite the emotional person. Over this last year I made efforts to grow in this area. For an example I’m sharing an old insta post. 

Somehow everything is okay.

Yet, I know there is no somehow, but someone - Jesus.

It never makes sense to have peace in the midst of chaos. But it’s having peace in the midst of chaos that’s led me to mental, emotional, and spiritual consistency.

I’ve always had A LOT of emotions & would often let my emotions guide me rather than my intellect & what I know to be true.

In the moment of this pic I could’ve easily wallowed in my emotion. Though, if I did that I would’ve missed what I needed this weekend. But because I ave grown in consistency, in the previously stated areas, I DECIDED to own what was happening and keep moving forward. Allowing myself to wallow and think “woah is me” would’ve only set me back.

Looking at the story of the resurrection of Lazarus - the difference between Mary’s “weeping” & the fact that “Jesus wept;” was that while Jesus was deeply grieved, He was in control. How sweet that He’s growing me in this same emotional consistency.

If our emotions cause us to act outside of our godly character, they need to be put in their rightful place.

I am really grateful that the Lord has grown me in this area. Sometime toward the end of 2020 I realized how selfish it was for me to put my emotion over everything - I’m still learning this.

In the last 12 months or so, I have learned much about our cycles as women and how proper care throughout our whole cycle really affects the way we work, interact with people, grow, change and implement new ideas. OOPH. This past year I was over my painful periods - so I did what was needed so that I could have a pain free period. That came with gaining bits and pieces of our biology, the best way work out through my cycle, and what to eat through my cycle. When I do this intentionally, my period is close to pain free and so much more bearable than it’s ever been. More to come on this later as it’s something I want to talk about and a few have asked questions on!

He’s really blessed me with many people that I can lean on. My mentors - I am so grateful for their hearts and passion and the unified vision we all have amongst our team. Much of the growth I’ve had is because of knowing them, coupled with really great church teaching.

My first roommate here in KC was and is still one of the sweetest blessings of community. She loves the Lord so well and He knew that we needed each other when I got here; I’m grateful for the blessing of her friendship. She helped me get connected here and for that I’ll always be grateful.

My community through my church has been beautiful as well. Its so good to see people who are nothing alike come together and create community.

The biggest change of this past two years has been my intellect. My growth mentally was the hardest part of the past two years. To keep this succinct… I graduated with a bachelors in Social Work. In the last two years, I’ve learned how much of a harm the policies and programs of this system are. not only do they perpetuate cycles for many people, but also are not in correlation with God’s design. Much of the systems utilized undermine God’s design. I can’t say that the degree was not at all useful. I know how to communicate well & listen intentently because of this program; I’m sure there are other things, but that’s all I’ve got for now.

Overall - my love for the Lord has grown and that is ultimately all that matters!! Goodness. Learning of His creation - how He pieced the universe all together, how He created us, and much more - has amazed me and grown in me a beautiful fear of Him.

This post isn’t what I thought it would be. Though, I enjoy it. As of late I’ve felt a tug to get back to focusing on my life from a wholistic point of view - mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. Each part of our whole person plays a huge part in how we be. That might sound funny, but I am more at peace, free, and in more clarity with the Lord when I am intentionally caring for my whole self. Through this past year of long-suffering - I’ve learned the vitality of this and I’m grateful. ANYWAYS. I hope you enjoyed. Maybe leave a comment sharing how the Lord has grown you in the last few years!!(: